Her scent clean and sweet. He kissed her lips harder, feeling both the thrill of it and guilt at abusing his patient. He pulled back, feeling shame.Her eyes were open, staring at him."I'm sorry," he gasped.She blinked, and licked her lips. Her mouth made sticky noises and he realized her throat was too dry to speak. He got the water pitcher off his dry sink and splashed some into the tin cup he used for drinking just about everything he imbibed. He watched her eyes as her mouth, knowing what to do, tried to sip. Her eyes, though, wandered lazily.He realized she was still befuddled by the laudanum, and heaved a sigh of relief. Perhaps she wouldn't remember he had violated her. There was no chair, so he sat beside her on the bed and held her hand."You're fine," he said soothingly. "You're safe." Am I?" she asked, her voice slow and slurred."I promise," he said, meaning it. He still felt guilty, but he meant it."All right," she sighed."Try to eat something," he said. He fed her with a. De retour dans mon hôtel parisien, je passe un long moment à m’observer nu dans le miroir plein pied de la chambre. J’écarte mes fesses et ausculte mon anus. Je finis par me branler frénétiquement en me doigtant avec une rage malsaine jusqu’à ce que j’éjacule.Lundi midi, je suis de retour au Trocadéro. J’ai l’impression que tous les vendeurs à la sauvette me reconnaissent, savent ce qui s’est passé et se gaussent, ce qui n’est probablement que le fruit de mon imagination. Sans trop savoir ce à quoi j’aspire – en tout cas sans l’admettre – je reviens m’assoir là où Abou et moi avons eu notre dernier échange. Après quelques minutes, un des vendeurs s’approche. Ça n’est pas Abou, il est jeune et athlétique. Il s’arrête sur le côté et demande sans me regarder :- Toi tu es François, oui ?- Oui.- Abou il est au pilier droit à la Tour Eiffel. Il a dit que quand tu reviens, on te le dit si on te voit.L’homme repart. J’hésite un court moment et je me lève puis descends l’esplanade, traverse.
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